Motherhood

It absolutely amazes me how much I am able to love these two little boys! Before having Ka'imi, I couldn't imagine how I could possibly love another child as much as I love Makoa! Now, it seems as if my heart has literally expanded, and Ka'imi has me wrapped around his finger! What an emotional journey it is, being a mother. While challenging, and VERY hard work - it is absolutely the most rewarding challenge I have ever taken on.

I would be lying if I said I love every minute of it.  The giant responsibilities placed on the shoulders of a mother are definitely under estimated by anyone who is not one (including husbands) - and were not fully realized until I became one. Even as the oldest child of 6, having many experiences with babies, diapers, babysitting - while helpful in preparing - is not comparable to being the sole individual with the responsibility for the eternal welfare of the spirit I brought into this world. "Heavy", you think? Absolutely.

I take my role as a mother very seriously. It is my priority (admittedly, even more so than being a wife most times). It is my divine responsibility to teach my children the truth. To teach them all about the straight and narrow path that will bring them eternal happiness. It is my responsibility to love them with every ounce of this ever expanding heart - that they might have a glimpse of the eternal love their Father in Heaven has for them - always.

I find that when I am most stressed out by "everything" - it is because my other hobbies/wants/desires are interfering with my sole responsibility of being a mother. There is a time and place for all things. And for the next 20+ years - I am a mother.  Not that I cannot enjoy things for myself, have hobbies, or indulge in some of my desires - I must, or I will lose myself -  and motherhood will become more of a burden then my chosen life style. But learning how to balance my priority with my own wants is the key.

After a long day, or a struggle to get them both down for naps  (preferably at the same time) and I have them both (usually sleeping) in my arms... I am able to reflect on the many, many joys of motherhood, how wonderful and precious my boys are and how I truly, truly love being a mother - and (sometimes) I cry. I cannot imagine my life without these amazing little people in it!

They teach me just as much as (well, probably more than) I teach them. My character stretches daily as I learn to be unselfish (I would really rather blog that  put on a movie/change a diaper/ play a game for the millionth time), tolerant (He loves to "play" xbox  - just like his daddy... *sigh*), kind (he didn't mean to), patient (you want to do that again?), calm (AAH! ...Its okay, Alicia... kids jump into the dirty wading pool with a brand-new outfit on all the time... just breathe...) forgiving (it's okay that you gave my kid sugar - AGAIN).

There is not a malicious bone in the kids' body (okay, maybe  the littlest one in his ear) so even when it seems like he's doing something specifically to tick me off.. he's not. And I know this - even though I don't always react the way I should. He's just a precious little spirit learning by experience.

To have a person in your life that loves you as much as you love them, is literally priceless. To have three - is a miracle.