I know this probably sounds crazy... but lately I've really been missing Utah. Not that Kauai isn't exceptionally Green and the weather is almost always perfect, and some of the most kind, giving people we've ever known are a part of our lives here... I'm just torn between this island I call Home, and Utah. Let me just think out loud for a few.
First and foremost, the cost of living here on Kauai is absolutely Ridiculous. If you find a STUDIO APARTMENT for under $1000 - You're lucky. Let alone a home for 4! Most families have both parents working full time just to make ends meet! And still live paycheck-to-paycheck! The only way to ease the burden, is to live with relatives... which is what we are currently doing. But how do you not over stay your welcome or strain the precious relationships? Such a fine line!
On the other hand - in Utah, you can find beautiful rentals (homes, apartments, town homes) for under $800!! We lived in a beautiful 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath Townhome for $700/month. How can that even compare? In Hawaii, there is the ocean and scenery you say?
In Utah, you can drive for HOURS and discover new things everyday! You can DRIVE to another STATE! You can drive for hours one way and be in the dessert - perfect for off-road vehicles! Or hours another way and be in the nice, cool mountains! Yes, you usually have to PAY to swim... or snowboard... but you CAN because housing isn't insane!
We have been itching for a nice, long road trip... to Mesa, Vegas, Disneyland, or Washington, maybe!!! On Kauai, you can drive 1 1/2 hours to Polihale or 45 minutes to Ke'e. Which is an absolutely breath taking drive which ever way you choose - but I think you get the point.
But then, the thing I'm really torn about - is the people. There are people here on Kauai that I love so dearly! My "adopted" Aunties and Uncles who have known me since I was just a little girl. And these people show just as much love, if not more, for my boys. People I feel safe with. People who know me. People who love me as much as I love them! I want my boys to feel the Aloha and grow up knowing know ethnic bounds. This is my Home.
And again, in Utah I have my wonderful grandmother, the best Aunties in the world, the greatest cousins, and so many life-long friends that we've made since being married! Some of the most supportive family and friends we've ever had are in Utah! Not to mention the awesome new friends we make all the time! I have some of the smartest, sweetest, "mommy" friends ever! Other women I can totally relate to! Women who don't blink an eye when the baby us fussing, or crying hysterically... they just know how it goes. I don't feel like I'm a terrible mother or feel like I am being judged... and for a young mother - that is a BIG DEAL. I love that Utah caters to FAMILIES! Who cares if having a stroller or car seat IN THE MOVIE THEATER is a fire hazzard... BRING YOUR KIDS (and pray there is no fire...)! Wait. There's a PLAYGOURND IN THE MALL! Bring your kids! A NURSING room in church! As a Young Mother, Utah makes it a whole lot easier to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! (My opinion.)
So while Kauai is my home and Utah is where my roots come from... I love them both. I wish they were closer so I wouldn't feel so torn being one place or another. But no matter where I am - there are always wonderful people I will miss.
Where ever my Father in Heaven wants me - that is where I will be. But for now, I suppose, you and I bother know me a little better.
7 comments:
You already know my thoughts and feelings on the subject. :) I empathize with you. And I hope you and your little family are able to figure everything out. It's difficult being a mom (wonderful of course, but challenging and difficult). One of the hardest things about living with family, inlaws or your own, is that there is always someone watching you. The only time I really feel like I'm doing a good job at being a mom is when Matthew and I are all alone. I don't here, "I did it this way" (from my MIL), or "my mom did this" (from my husbands siblings). And I don't feel those eyes staring me down.
Living with my own mom might be different. I don't know yet how that will feel. But living with my husbands family while being a first time mommy is stressful.
Anyway...I could go on and on. And maybe I'll blog about it so that I can. haha
LOVE YOU!
I know how you feel! When I lived in hawaii, I loved it..but I also felt a bit "trapped" which is why I only stayed there a year. It is for sure cheaper here though. I wish you would move back! I miss you!
ohhhh move to Logan right now....jk I understand where you are coming from, I think about Kauai probably daily, but it would be so different to live there then just vacation there, I know you'll end up where your suppose to be!
I totally get it!
We go through this everyday (not with Utah, with Cali, but same concept). I don't know if gere's an answer, just go with your gut. I know we won't be here forever, but we're enjoying it while we can. $800 for a house, though, I don't know if you can beat that!
I vote for Utah...in our neighborhood again!!! :)
I TOTALLY hear ya! Kelii and I talk about moving back to Hawaii everyday! We bounce back and forth over the same things! Cost, education, aloha, LDS influence, etc. Sometimes I wish our family lived in a normal state like Oregon or Cali. Why Hawaii? Why so far away? But then again, there's so much to love about Hawaii. Wish I could help ya... we're in the same boat.
Post a Comment