Please Hurry, Spring!

Wow, this winter is starting to feel like it’s been around forever! Besides being 24 weeks pregnant, it’s been too stinkin’ cold to want to do anything anyway! Makoa and Ka’imi have been pretty incredible and have really bonded and have finally gotten to a point that they play together more like friends and less and less like rivals. Ka’imi discovered that he loves playing with wooden blocks (ABC blocks… Jenga blocks… doesn’t matter), and he’s impressively creative with them! I love listening to them play together using their imaginations! Being cooped up indoors hasn’t taken its toll on them yet.  I am so blessed to have such wonderful boys!

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been emotionally unstable lately… I could blame a number of things, but we’ll just go ahead and blame the pregnancy and the anticipation of bringing another child into this world. Oh, and let’s add that this overcast winter needs to END. And if the sun would stay up a little later (or a lot later) that would be great. The smallest of things will tip me over my emotional scale and I’ve been trying not to let my emotions affect the home – but lets face it – I can’t always just escape into a peaceful environment exactly when I need to (but if I can, I do). I wonder (without resolve) whether these are just normal weaknesses that will come and go throughout my life, or if there are specific lessons to be learned to in order to prepare me for something greater. I’m just tired. But I’m also tired of being tired. But I’ve recently (re)discovered that I only have so much energy – and it’s significantly less than I had before the pregnancy started. It’s all very frustrating. I’ve never been pregnant through the winter like this before. Makoa was born in December, so it was okay to be indoors for a few months. Ka’imi was due in May also – but we were living in HAWAII… so yeah, this is all new for me. Being pregnant this time around is hardly what I expected. It’s just not… fun. And I usually really enjoy this.

I guess I’m just venting, or thought-vomiting.

I don’t like not feeling like myself.

And that’s exactly how I feel.

And I miss the sunshine and warmth.

I  love Utah – but seriously, lets move along to the next season already! Or if you decided to skip Spring and go right into summer weather I could deal with that.

That’s all.