What do these three things have in common? They all played a part is my positively horrible night. Note: This is a venting post. This is a side of me you may not have seen before and may even think less of me for knowing. Feel free to skip it. Actually, you will probably read it anyway, so I'll at least try to make it entertaining...
So tonight was American Idol Season Finale... (yay for both the Davids who are both very talented and will both have a great future! I am pleased that Cook won, and I am pleased that Archuleta represented Utah very well :), either way I think they both did great this season!) That being said... I ritually go to a family friends home to watch it since we don't have "TV"... (yes, we have A television, but not any "channels").
After putting Ziek in his carseat and getting some clean clothes on Makoa, I was going to load them in the car to drive the 45 seconds to the Greenleafs, when I decided to eat some of my husbands nachos he just made... HELLO! Who puts TABASCO SAUCE on their nachos... well, apparently he does. Now, my mouth is burning... so first thing I want is a cup of milk (water only seems to make it worse... anyone else notice that?) but then realize that the "best by" date on the milk is tomorrow, so I don't want to chance it. Then I remember that my mom got the Cookies 'n Cream Ice Cream I SPECIALLY requested THAT MORNING and the whole carton was in the freezer unopened... that is surely the next best thing to a glass of milk - no, better. Much, much better!
Now, more then anything, all I really want is that Cookies 'n Cream Ice Cream... thats ALL my mouth wants... so I open the freezer where a whole gallon of Sherbert (note: any other day, this would be the sugar of choice... but I REALLY REALLY just wanted that Cookies 'n Cream that my wonderful mom got ESPECIALLY FOR ME), but I pass on the sherbert and look for that unopened carton of Cookies 'n Cream... and it's not where I remember seeing it only hours earlier...
Where is it? I look behind the gallon of sherbert and the frozen peas... I check the door... what the heck? Where did it go? It's really not in there...?!?! Mind you my mouth is still burning. Then, lightening painfully strikes my brain in the form of a horrific idea. Maybe its been eaten... all of it. So... I check the only place an empty carton of Cookies 'n Cream would be.... the garbage.
Yep. It's there. And now. I. AM. PISSED. "Who the Frick ate the whole carton of MY Cookies 'n Cream?" The only 4 oinkers in the fricken house. I accusingly asked the suspects and they all quickly rat each other out... but the damage is done. My craved Cookies 'n Cream has been eaten. ALL OF IT.
I have to get out of there. I cant even look at any of those poor suckers who have no idea the wrath that is so nearly going to befall them. Like, seriously, I wanted to punch somebody. Hard. But that would not bring the ice cream back... so I had to leave.
I loaded up the kids and skipped American Idol to go for a drive, and I just cried the whole time. I parked at one of my favorite lookout points just down the road, even though it was much to dark to enjoy it. And just cried. Obviously, this is not just about the Ice Cream.
Theory: I suspect that I am experiencing some degree of post-partum depression. I've been in the house for nearly 3 days now... mostly in my cave of a room... feeding Ziek and then waiting for him to wake up. It's probably just me, but two kids are sooooo much harder than 1! More than anything it's just hard to GET OUT OF THE FREAKING HOUSE! And to be 100% honest, the house right now is not the most relaxing place to be cooped up. we have 12 people total living in my parents. Most of the day is quiet because 5 of them are in school. I am dreading the summer break.
Before you recommend the obvious "just move out", you have to understand that housing is RIDICULOUSLY expensive here (I'm talking $1400+ for a 2 bedroom) on a less than $1500/month income (until he gets that freaking Dive Master certification finished!!!!)... hence the reason we're even living in my parent's upstairs. Has the thought to move back to Utah where things are actually affordable, crossed my mind? More often than you think. But this is where we're supposed to be right now... though, I might go officially insane before I ever learn why.
So tonight was a bad night. Tomorrow will be probably be better. At least the Ice Cream is already gone.
note: After crying to my hearts content, I took the boys to McDonalds. I got an oreo Mcflurry which satisfied my craving exceptionally well. Both Makoa and Ziek fell fast asleep on the way home while listening to our ever-soothing "Absolute Relaxation" by Andrew Fitzgerald. I feel better for "getting it out" and since I type much faster than I write, I blogged it instead of writing it in my journal - now you all get to feel a tinsy bit sorry for me and tell me encouraging things... (or maybe you had an even worse day you would like to share with me?)
5 comments:
I feel your pain, but I must say...why the heck did you even take your children with you?!! I would've looked at those four "guys" and said, No way...you look after them, I need a break!!" But I understand you probably needed your baby with you! Oh yeah...and don't even think about moving back to Utah...are you crazy!! I'd give anything to move back to Hawaii!
;-)! Sorry, no offense to Utahns. Anyways, I'm also venting because Monday was too hot (upper 90's) and today is freakin 45 degrees!! I hate it! Ok, I feel much better now, thanks for your blog Alicia, I feel much better.
I totally have days like that where even the smallest things make me so mad! Every time I get baby hungry, I read your blog and decide "I could wait another year!" ha ha. Not that you complain, it just sounds hard! No one thinks your just a negative, angry person. Its nice to hear you are human. Hope you had a better day.
There are 9 of us here in Ailona's parents house in Laie. I love Hawaii, really I do, but I can't take another second (although I will have to) living like this. I want to be in my own home with just my own family so that I can be the boss. Ailona and I are moving back to Texas in the next 2 or 3 months where we will be able to live and enjoy life and not just barely survive. I am miserable. I can't even imagine having two little ones to take care of while living here. That is definitely very brave of you. And I can even less imagine taking care of someone else's kids at the same time. I would die. You are amazing! (Side note-let it be known that I am very grateful that we have been able to live here.)
alicia -- i really enjoy reading your blog! your writing is great! and so honest -- it's refreshing. i feel for you, all that testosterone, and you DO need a little time for yourself. yes, hawaii home and land prices are absurd, we have a condo, but i long for a house with a yard and then i think about the mainland and how much more bang-for-your-buck you get there, and sometimes i tell doug that we should move to oregon (where he is from). we could have a big yard and a big house. but he, being the surfer that he is, would probably only be able to live there in the summers, due to the weather. i am content for now, and i can't really complain, but i do feel for you, especially about the ice cream. oh, and i watched a program on the discovery channel once and they said that dairy was the best and only way to fight heat from spicey food. hang in there!!
I feel your pain... 2 is definately harder than 1... and I had Ashlyn to help me through all of it!!! Notice I said Ashlyn... because you're right... men aren't really too sypmathetic to idle chit chat... but to be honest ... an 8 year old isn't either... although a little better:0). I can't tell you how many times there has been something I've desired - to find it rummaged through or gone... makes all I (we, you and I.. and I only have 1 extra) are doing seem small sometimes, maybe even unappreciated... then reality hits and I realize that its all for a good cause. I'm glad you had a good cry... it hits me even though I dont have a 2 week old baby! You're a powerhouse.. I know that even though our personal time has been limited. Keep being you... set your limits... yada, yada... you're awesome!
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