Quick vent. Last night was a little hectic. We went over to a friends house to visit and talk story. Right when we got there, Cameron got a long distance phone call, and stayed outside to have the conversation, which was just fine.
The evening was going alright, Ka'imi slept, Makoa played and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. When Ka'imi woke up, I had friends and family willing to hold him and Makoa was just enjoying himself! Then, someone mentioned playing a game of "grouch."
(I love this game. It's a card game, kind of like "phase ten" with only 6 phases. I haven't played in a VERY long time for whatever reasons. Just know that I really enjoy playing this game.)
I figured that since the kids were good I could have a fun, relaxing game with my sister, dad and uncle.
I won the first 2 phases. I was happy. I ALMOST won the 3rd phase, but only got a score of 16. (Mind you, Cam is STILL outside on the phone). Ka'imi needs a diaper change, when we realize that we forgot the diaper bag at home. So, Cam runs home (just down the street) and get its. between phases, I change the baby. But now he's getting a little fussy - but my mom holds him.
Meanwhile, Makoa is getting fussy because it's getting late, and he just wants to be held - but not really... so he keeps asking for a drink, and chocolate, and a drink... and then he wants to play cards with me... (of course, Cam is still on the phone).
Mind you, I'm still doing great in the game... but Makoa is hanging all over me, and now the baby is crying (but not full-on screaming). Cameron comes in from his conversation and takes the baby from my mom and tries to sooth him. He is tired too (Ka'imi, that is). Cameron is indirectly trying to pawn him off on me but, I have one more phase to go! Can't I just get through ONE game?!... so I'm bearing through the crying baby, and I set Makoa on a chair with a banana, which seems to calm him - when..
WHAM! He falls right off the chair and hits his lip. That is pretty much his last straw. I quickly pick him up and notice his lip is bleeding (not too badly) and rinse it off and try to get him to hold the paper towel on his lip, but he holds on to me and gets blood on my (sisters) WHITE top that I'm wearing. UGH. He's pretty upset and wont stop crying. Which is MY last straw... I have to call the game quits.
I take Makoa outside in the cool breeze to try and calm him down. He does. In fact, now he is fine he just wants to be held. So we sit outside for a little while enjoying the quiet peace. He's so tired, and is slowly falling asleep.
We go back inside and sit on the couch when Cam brings a very upset Ka'imi over and says we should "switch". Sure. Whatever. I try to find my nursing cover - but that is no where to be found. So, I ask Cam to get me a towel or something (while Ka'imi is screaming now.) and he throws me a handtowel and I finally get to calm the kid down. And of course, he falls right to sleep. He's not hungry, he's just tired.
Wow. It's absolutely astounding how quickly things can spiral into chaos with kids.
My dilemma. I love being with my children, even during the crazy times. But I NEED TO GET OUT (Even if it is with them). But when we do go out... there's always a point somewhere during the outing that they both get crazy and I'm about to pull my hair out. Not to mention everyone around who (in my mind) is thinking what the heck is wrong with that family? or I wonder if she needs some help? or Goodness, someone shut those kids up! Which just stresses me out more. Of course, during those minutes of chaos, I think "I am NEVER coming here again." or "THIS is why we don't leave the house!"... and really! It's a crazy contradiction, because for our sanity we need to get out... but when we ARE out, it can get insane... !?!?!
I love being outdoors and doing fun things - and usually the activity is not 100% child-friendly... but I choose to try it anyway. Do I have to sacrifice EVERYTIHNG I love to do!? Or do we just expect and deal with those absolutely chaotic moments which are BOUND to happen?!
Oh the joys of motherhood.
3 comments:
We finally got out of the house with our little Ahonui this past weekend. We totally forgot what it's like to have a newborn and actually go somewhere. The plan of leaving home at 11:00 ended up being 1:30. The baby was screaming in Wal-Mart so Karen plopped herself on one of the benches in the middle of one of the aisles, threw her nursing cover and fed him right there. Now here's Kauai for you, people (let me clarify...complete strangers) actually stopped to talk to her while she's nursing. Kauai definitely has personal space issues. But I know she feels your pain.
Alicia i know how you feel it gets really hectic when you finally decide to venture out. And you do feel that people are thinking can't they just make their kids be quite and you try and when one starts to cry so does the other!! thank you so much for that blog i am having one of thise days and it is good to know it happends to others!!
You're an awesome mom. And you NEEd to go out! Yes it gets trying as I'm sure our moms can attest, but think of this--do you remeber staying in the house all day as a child? I sure don't. I remeber GOIGN places and DOING things, but I sure don't remeber tha I alsmot drove my mother to the brink of insanity. Kids don't remeber that, they remeber playing with cousis, friends, and trips to the beach, cabin, woods, mountains, desert, whatever! And if anyone IS judging you, most likely they don't have kids. . . or thier kids are really messed up and not nearly as well rounded and intelligent as yours! : )
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